The Cosmic 2x4 Experience

 “… the greater the tension, the greater the potential.

Great energy springs from a correspondingly great tension of opposites.”--Carl Jung

 Throughout history humankind has utilized oral tradition, chants, wall drawings, and other venues to share their legends, tales, practices, and traditions. Of all of these venues oral tradition, including the written word is the most popular choice of expression. People get involved in story on a cellular level; and they are moved at the feeling level. Narrative accounts that chronicle our journey through the mysterious passages of life’s experiences serve to share the essence of who we are, individually and collectively, with others. Telling one’s own personal story, sharing the personal parts of ones life is seen as an authentic action (AA).  It is with this intention that I share my story with you.

Not long ago I found myself in the midst of an experience that I refer to as a time of – dancing at the edge of mystery. It began when the universe clobbered me over the head with the proverbial Cosmic 2x4; it happened both literally and figuratively. I fell and hit head and ended up with a mild traumatic brain injury. During the four month period that followed, I lost much of my short-term memory. This injury was a catalyst that led to my taking a leave of absence from my place of employment and to pull back from being in service to the work that I loved.

            This was a difficult and tumultuous time for me. Initially, everything was new and everything was strange to me. It was a paradox. Not going to work was difficult. I had worked continuously for nearly 40 years, without ever taking much more than three weeks off at any given time. The loss of memory was frustrating; in addition it made me mad. I felt sorry for myself and I felt a little frightened.

After about two weeks of engaging in this self-destructive behavior, I had an epiphany during meditation. I “saw” myself. I saw how I was acting and how I had reacted to what was happening to me. All the chaos, frustration, weariness, concern, and madness that I was exhibiting, was revealed through short clips of pictures in my mind’s eye.  I gasped.  I felt horrified that I would behave like this. After all didn’t I know better than this? Hadn’t I learned more than this? So, I was now, heaping guilt, shame, and blame upon myself, using the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s.

After a few moments of partaking in this monkey mind chatter, I realized what I was doing. I chose to stop, take a deep breath, and look at my reactive behaviors and how they were affecting my life and my healing process. I decided to stop asking, “Why had this happened to me?” and begin to think of ‘right’ questions that I could ask myself that would move me into a new frame of reference. I knew that I was being invited to dance at the edge of mystery; to step into the unknown and trust that whatever I needed would be there to support me.

            In taking the breath, I began to ask myself the same questions that I pose to you throughout this book. “What do I really want for my life?” Do I want to sit around moping, feeling sorry for myself, and fearful that I will never be able to remember anything again. No! It wasn’t what I wanted – then why was I creating it? The universe had dealt me a hand and now it was time for me choose how I wanted to play it.

If I was going to say, ‘YES’, to greater possibility revealing itself, then I had to change my attitude and behaviors. Immediately, I began to ask myself what I really wanted. The answer was somewhat strange, for I wanted a healing, but I wanted a healing that would be an upliftment for my soul and move me towards a greater awareness of spiritual growth.  I realized that in order for this to happen, I would have to surrender all my expectations. I had to surrender all of my frustrations, to the possibility of something Greater emerging. I had to surrender into the idea that a Higher Power knew what was best for my life in this moment and I could consciously engage with Its possibilities.

In my heart I knew that what I was being called to in this act of surrender was the possibility that perhaps my memory was not going to return and I would have to be alright with that. I would have to be at peace with it in my heart and soul if I was really going to be about surrender. I realized that I was being asked, by my own Higher Nature, to dance at the edge of mystery and await the unfolding of the Unknown – the next step.

            Breathing in and breathing out, was all I could do right now. So I surrendered fully to the Unknown. I said, “YES! I will dance at the edge of mystery. I will allow the Unseen and the Unknown to work Itself through me.” So dance I did, sit I did, laugh I did, contemplate my navel I did, walk I did, read I did, rest I did, and prayer I did. BUT, I did not worry! I let that all go.

            Suddenly, the creative force of the Unknown began to make Itself known to me and through me. I began to write as if someone else was guiding my thoughts and hands. What came through me, I call, Soul Searching’s. Powerful odes and poems came forth that reflected my struggles, my fears, my hopes, my strengths, and where I was in consciousness during this time of this transition and transformation process. (See Epilogue for odes and poems.)

What I did not realize, immediately, was that each time I wrote an ode or poem I was sending a healing message throughout my cellular structure. As each one came, they peeled away a layer of unconscious muck and mire – old stuff that had been running my life for years. As the writings turned into a collection, each one with a new idea, I realized that they were part of my healing process. So, heal I did! ‘YES’! ‘YES’! ‘YES’!

            When I look back on the situation, I now know that I had many choices, many routes that I could have taken, but I had to make the choice as to the one that I wanted. Choice was the key and intention was the key hole that my choices had to fit into, perfectly, or they would not work.

I created an intention to live life with a sense of spaciousness, grace and ease, so the choice I made had to be congruent with that decision. It was! I chose to retire from the traditional grind of daily, organizational work and to renew and replenish myself through other venues. I also knew that the choice that I was making was going to take me to the edge of mystery, again – and it was requiring that I be comfortable there for quite a while. The choice continues to be the right one for this moment; for I am at peace, living in joy and all my needs are being met.

What evolved out of that cosmic 2x4 experience is a deep understanding of the power of ‘YES’ as an attractor for creative, positive, universal Energy. It is that understanding that led to the odes and poems and to the concepts of The Power of ‘YES’ and The Circle of Shift.

Yes, shift happens in life; however the key is to always be ‘consciously’ prepared to say ‘YES’; ‘YES’ to life, to change, to stirrings, to forward movement, and to dancing at the edge of mystery. The edge of mystery is the place of movement; a place of stirrings, it is where we must stay and ‘sit’ for awhile; by doing this we are led to shifts in consciousness, changes in our lives, and transformation on all levels of being.

The Circle of Shift is a teaching model that symbolizes the movements we experience as we traverse through the process of Self-discovery and transformation.  It is a representation of the ever circular, upward, evolving spiral of spiritual and personal maturity.

The Circle of Shift incorporates the symbology of a circle to represent the continuity and continuation of all ideas and of life. Creating the concept of a circle, in a clockwise direction, are arrows that represent specific fundamental patterns of thought and behavioral movements that occur during times of change and transition. The arrows also symbolize the movement of a positive core life-giving energy that runs through each person. In the center of the circle is a Center-Point, the bindu, which holds the space for the Energy of our Higher Power and the core, positive, universal energy to flow forth from. That Energy flows forth continually and freely to ‘nourish’ all facets of our growth – and is fully potent when we say, ‘YES.

The gestalt of the entire symbol of the Circle of Shift has a two-fold meaning. First it represents the movement of the positive core living-energy of ‘YES’ as it moves us through the process of transformation. Secondly, it is representative of a blueprint for personal and collective growth and empowerment.

If you would like to purchase a copy of 

The Power of YES! 

and delve into its teaching further please contact us at – 

revtboehm@aol.com 

or call 816-537-7521